. @ Thursday, September 23, 2010
Broken team ,
Broken friendships
Broken bonds
Looks like that I wished for will never come true . Things aren't what it is anymore . Why is it always me that gets the blame ? Why is it me that always have to carry the heavy burden of 'fault' ? .
I don't know , looks like I'm in a very bad position to help or say anything .
Since this is the case .
I won't do anything
I won't be that happy go lucky person i used to be anymore .
Times and again did I say that .
and Times and again I failed to do so .
I wanted to just stay quiet but when I see my friends getting hurt for no reason ,
I get agitated .
I get angered .
I don't know why .
I know that its none of my concern ,
but still ,
do you even have to go to that extent of avoiding me ?
I know there's some misunderstandings ,
Some problems ,
some miscommunication .
I won't bother
I won't care
I won't want to know .
But I'm somehow bothered by it .
Coach , I miss you .
Really .
First thing i do when I log on to facebook :
Check who is online .
I go a bit crazy when i see your name on the online list
I know I'm crazy to be thinking like this but still ,
This is me .
If you can't accept me for who I am ,
You don't have to speak or comment about me .
I didn't get a chance to talk to her yesterday
She's not talking to me because of the team and seniors .
She says its awkward .
But who cares ?
We're friends .
Why can't we talk ?
If they're so free to comment then let them be .
I won't be bothered by their comments anymore .
Since its always my fault .
Is it like ,
so hard ,
for me to get my guitar ?
Thats like my only WANT right now.
A guitar .
To learn guitar .
Its okay ...
Its okay ...
You two don't trust me afterall .
You always wanted my results to prove myself .
But what if I tell you someone have good results but poor attitude ?
You wouldn't care .
You'll just care about the results part .
You know , anybody can rebel at any time around this period of growth for teenagers .
I'm choosing not to .
Cause I know that if I do , you will get hurt all over again like that bro did .
I won't ...
Everytime the bad stuffs is here ,
I'm to blame
People choose to trust others than me
I don't care .
But if they malign or accuse me ,
I'll get very agitated .
Forget my rantings .
I'm just going to stay shut
I'm going to ignore myself of all these worldly affairs
I'm numbed from all these sickening situations .
My heart aches more than the wound i get from injuries and cut,
Because I care .